Doubletree Signature Cookies

I don't have the stand mixer, but I will fake it.

½ pound butter, softened (2 sticks)

¾ cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar

¾ cup packed light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 ¼ teaspoons vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice

2 ¼ cups flour

1/2 cup rolled oats

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

Pinch cinnamon

2 2/3 cups Nestle Tollhouse semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 3/4 cups chopped walnuts 

Cream butter, sugar and brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer on medium speed for about 2 minutes. 

Add eggs, vanilla and lemon juice, blending with mixer on low speed for 30 seconds, then medium speed for about 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy, scraping down bowl. 

With mixer on low speed, add flour, oats, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, blending for about 45 seconds. Don’t overmix. 

Remove bowl from mixer and stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Portion dough with a scoop (about 3 tablespoons) onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper about 2 inches apart. 

Preheat oven to 300°F. Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and center is still soft. 

Remove from oven and cool on baking sheet for about 1 hour.

Cook’s note: You can freeze the unbaked cookies, and there’s no need to thaw. Preheat oven to 300°F and place frozen cookies on parchment paper-lined baking sheet about 2 inches apart. Bake until edges are golden brown and center is still soft.


Questions for an original character

Saw these on batyatoon's LJ, and I thought I'd answer them for Rob Nishikawa, just for my own amusement.

- How does your OC react when their rival is grovelling at their feet for their life?
"Really? I expected better from you than this."

- What’s the subtitle that accompanies your OC’s name during their dramatic intro?
Dimension traveller

- What incredibly lame thing does your OC do while thinking that it’s actually super cool?
He wears a denim jacket. He thinks it's super cool, and can't figure out why he can't get a replacement. The jacket is approaching the point of being more repairs than original material.

- How would your OC react to meeting someone who is attempting to impersonate them?
"Wow! I've never met one of my analogs!" (What he doesn't know: he has no analogs - he's unique in the multiverse. There is no reason for this; it's an unexplained oddity.)

- Would your OC try to weasel out of a genie wish limit with the wishing for more wishes bullshit?
Not exactly. If the genie didn't try weasel-wording the first two wishes, he'd probably chat with the genie for a few minutes to get an idea of whether the genie would have any use for wishes, though. ("Okay. Wish number three: I wish for you to have three wishes, subject to your limitations.")

- Exactly what amount of wealth would be enough to tempt your OC into doing something that is distasteful but not specifically against their moral code?
It depends on his current situation. He's beaten people up for money before this, but only when he was desperate for cash.

- What is the most unacceptable pun that someone would use in conversation with your OC?
Unacceptable puns don't exist in his world.

- Would your OC eat cooked testicles assuming they’re prepared hygienically?
All things considered, he probably has - and he probably cooked them himself.

- If your OC attempted to clean their nails with a dagger like some sort of stereotypical fantasy badass would they accidentally cut themselves?
Oh, hell yes. He crafted a duplicate of Woundhealer from Saberhagen's Books of Swords because it's the only edged weapon he can use safely. He can chop meat or vegetables just fine, but fighting with an edged weapon is beyond him for some reason.

- How many days can your OC go without bathing before they can’t stand being in their own body anymore?
Depends on the weather. If it's too hot for him, he won't last a day - dried sweat drives him nuts - but if not, he can go up to a week.

Five rules for dating my daughter: Fiction in five paragraphs.

Rule 0: You don't want me involved. That is the worst-case scenario.

Rule 1: If she says "no," "stop," or "don't," you listen. If you do not listen, the best you can hope for is that she walks away, and you don't have sex that night. Second best is that she stops hitting you after you fall unconscious. Worst case? See rule 0.

Rule 2: She will not fake an orgasm for your ego. If you aren't good enough to satisfy her, the best possibility is that you get your ego deflated. Second best is having her critique your abilities. Worst case? See rule 0, with a side order of racing to see who dies of embarrassment first.

Rule 3: If she wants you to use protection, you will use it. If you don't, the best possible result is you not having sex that night. Worst case? Again, see rule 0.

Rule 4: If you fail any of these, and you want to avoid rule 0, try to get to her father first. He might have mercy on you. On the other hand, I got these rules from my mother.

Filk. Filk never changes.

Apparently, some part of my brain only just left Conflikt this morning: I woke up from a dream that was random craziness until it ended with a fragment to the tune of Barrett's Privateers:

So come and filk
We will sing loud enough to make the rafters ring
We'll fire off puns - shed good tears
And we hope we'll always get to hear
“Conflikt will be this time next year.”

...or something like that. By the time I was at the computer, I know it changed a little.

And I didn't hear the rest of the song, darn it!

(I'll work on it. And that next-to-last line. And...and...and...)
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Boogeyman in the closet.

I just spent an hour or so trying to design a game based on the dream of its advertisement.

The ad explained that the Boogeyman is in the closet, scaring the children. But it can't survive the sunlight, and it can be lured out of the closet by the chance to take good dreams away.

Everything else was left for me to figure out. So far, I have six children, each of whom has a upward arrow, a downward arrow, and a horizontal rectangle in one of three game types: Red Triangle, Blue Circle, or Yellow Square. An upward arrow means that the child is a little better than the Boogeyman, a downward arrow gives the Boogeyman an advantage, and the rectangle means no advantage to either side. (Why six children? Because that way I get all six arrangements of up/down/neutral. If necessary, I can pretend this is played in an orphanage or something.)

The Boogeyman has a game box (deck of cards), where each game can have up to six children playing. Some can be played with one child, others require more. The games are things like Would You Eat That?, Squash the Spider, and Name that Medicine. (Boogeyman games are a little strange to us.) Each child can offer up a dream to play. If a child is playing, and offers up an extra dream, a child with no dreams left can join in the game. The more players there are, the farther the Boogeyman will stray from his closet.

Games are played by rolling a six-sided die for the Boogeyman, then having each of the players roll. An up arrow means a child adds one to the child's die, a down arrow means adding one to the Boogeyman's die. Ties let the children keep the dream. (Yes, the games are rigged in favor of the children. Who said the Boogeyman was smart?) Then the Boogeyman returns to the game box in the back of the closet to select another game. Each step takes away time left until sunrise. If the Boogeyman isn't in the closet when the sun rises, the children win.

I have no idea whether this game is good, bad, or ugly, but there it is. There are probably dozens of problems hidden in the details - how many steps until sunrise? How long is the track back to the closet? How many steps does each extra child playing add? Is it possible to make this a children's game? - but I have a game that's cooperative, tries to be simple enough for children, and might actually be fun.

What a waste of time.

Yesterday, I got an e-mail saying I was being offered a job.

The problem? I'd never applied to that company.

From there, it just got worse. They wanted me to give them a credit report, and they provided a link to a page that lacked any obvious pointers on how to get the credit report. The page in question was at one URL, but all the links out of there were to another URL. The company name didn't show up in Google. Their closest office was in California - commuting from Seattle seems a bit unreasonable, and I wouldn't have applied for a job outside of Western Washington.

Then I looked at it a different way - where was their website registered? It turned out that the contacts were all in Las Vegas. But none of their offices were there...

This morning, I tried one more approach - searching the office addresses. It turns out that the entire website was lifted from another company, given a find-and-replace, and put up as their own.

So, I would like to offer Westfield Data, LLC, also known as Westfield Data Solutions, a big, juicy raspberry, and two rude gestures. I've sent a message about the copied website to the original company, as well as your service provider. I hope you get shut the hell down.

Well, that explains a few things.

A New Yorker on the first political consulting firm.

Some parts that I found particularly notable:

“A wall goes up,” Whitaker warned, “when you try to make Mr. and Mrs. Average American Citizen work or think.”

“Voters are basically lazy, basically uninterested in making an effort to understand what we’re talking about,” the Nixon adviser William Gavin wrote in a memo. “Reason requires a higher degree of discipline, of concentration; impression is easier,” he wrote in another memo.

“In this profession of leading men’s minds, this is the reason I feel it must be in the hands of the most ethical, principled people—people with real concern for the world around them, for people around them—or else it will erode into the hands of people who have no regard for the world around them. It could be a very, very destructive thing.”

Not completely right.

The short of the article is that it recaps the past few weeks, specifically Daniel Tosh and Todd Akin, then tries to split America on male/female lines to explain this.


This isn't about male/female. It's about being from the late twentieth century versus being from the nineteenth century. It's about science versus pseudoscience. And most of all, it's about believing in a world where people are responsible for their actions, a woman isn't automatically wrong because a male human raped her (I hesitate to call a rapist a man), and people think.

Something that doesn't make sense:

I know a few people who are suspicious of the government, or the mainstream media, or other information sources.

Without exception, they are also prone to believing anything that supports their bias, regardless of the reliability of the source - and the sources they point at are usually as unreliable as can be.

How does this make any sense?