I've never put much stock in astrology. I like to claim that it's because I'm a Sagittarius, but it's really that I keep getting the impression that I'm getting somebody else's horoscope. "Your relationship will blossom." (What relationship?) "Listen to the people under you." (What people under me? The only thing under me is the laundry room.)

The prize-winner for bad in January has to go to the horoscope in the Seattle Weekly, meant to cover last Thursday to the upcoming Wednesday. I picked it up on the bus back from Conflikt, and read "You should work on getting enough sleep." Um. I'm headed to a filk convention, and my horoscope is suggesting getting enough sleep?

The stars are never right in my world.

Okay, I find filing to be rather boring to begin with. But it's obviously bad when I look for Namibia (doot doo de doo doo) and go off to the Final Jeopardy tune (there's logic to that, really), and start whistling "Final Jeopardy: Jazz Edition."

I know you're busy folks.

However, some of you are not doing your jobs in a timely manner. If I've finished something and put it in the usual place for your signature, I'd like a turn-around of less than a month, thankyouverymuch.

Failing that, I will make sure that people know that it's Your Damn Fault That They Haven't Been Paid.

Have a nice day.

"Pandora" is being used as a name for children. Apparently, some people saw Avatar, and are being dangerously fannish about this.

I suppose it's possible that it's a middle name, which is all right. Middle names are the traditional hiding place for odd names.

But if it's a first name, I predict a great number of children will either begin going by their middle names or trying to decide whether being called "Dora the Explorer" is better than being called "Pandora," along with any other cheap shots that kids will invent. And if a female with this name keeps it into her teens, I expect obnoxious males (which, in the teenage years, may approach 100% of the males) to make crude jokes.

This will not end well. Why do people do this?

Quoted from yesterday's Daily Illuminator:

...now you can donate to the relief effort with just a simple text message. By typing in "Haiti" and sending it to 90999, you'll donate $10 to the Red Cross' efforts in Haiti. (It shows up on your next phone bill, or is deducted from your prepaid minutes.) You can still send in money the usual way -- via their website, toll-free number, and snail mail -- but using mobile technology to eliminate the barriers to donation is simply smart.

It's good to be living in the future, even during natural disasters.

(Note: It has been pointed out that the Red Cross has been accepting donations via text message for some time, with the 2HELP program. Specifically, texting "GIVE" to 24357 (aka "2HELP") donates $5 to the Red Cross. The "Haiti" program seems to be the first crisis-specific use of donation-via-text.)

I ran into a little girl who spoke of a place with an alligator. It took a bit of listening to her talk with her father before I realized that she meant "elevator."

For those of you that don't understand why this was really confusing: Alligator in the House.

I'm going to assume that you're aware of the earthquake in Haiti, and Pat Robertson's comment on it.

I've never understood how people can say things like Marion Gordon Robertson does. Until now.

Perhaps this isn't what's really going on in his head, but it's a way to get to that viewpoint that I can understand. I still don't believe what he believes. I still don't like anything he's said. But I understand.

And in understanding, I can let him be what he is. I might even be able to forgive him for being what he is.

It's a work in progress.

A few weeks ago, I tore the seat out of a pair of jeans. So today, I went out to buy a new pair.

I have a preference for a particular brand, and it happened that they were offering a better price for buying two pairs than one. Fine, I thought, I'll buy an extra pair and keep it for when the next pair of jeans wears out. There was a feeling of echo about that thought, but I ignored it as another case of deja vu.

As it turns out, it wasn't deja vu. I now have two pairs of jeans to have around for when the next one wears out, and I just put the pair from the last time I went shopping for jeans into the wash. On the bright side, I have set up the jeans so I'll see my spare pairs more easily, and I shouldn't have to go shopping for jeans for some time.

It's too late for me to get a cell phone, and too early.

It's too late because cell phones these days seem to come with more stuff than I want in a telephone. I don't know if they make one that just makes calls nowadays. Well, I don't have any problems with including a clock in there, and Bluetooth isn't a bad thing, even though it means playing "Bluetooth or voices in the head" is always going to be a fun game when riding the bus.

As for the rest of the stuff, I don't see a need in my life for the camera, MP3 player, web-surfing capacity, and whatever bells and whistles come along. Even text messaging doesn't seem that useful.

But it's too early, as well. I don't like carrying stuff with me, not because I like traveling light, but because I lose things. I've left behind more umbrellas than I care to think about, and the same goes for lots of other things. The safest way for me to have a cell phone would be have one that rides on my wrist, replacing my watch.

Then again, maybe it's not too early. Maybe somebody's made a wristwatch phone by now, it sells for $199.99, and it takes photos, sends text messages, and plays MP3s and MP4s. And they're probably working on videoconferencing, so they can have a Dick Tracy model.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

You didn't burn it. You didn't even lock it away. It's been in a cardboard box in my closet all this time.

I know from the note that you thought you were preserving my freedom. Maybe it works that way with others of my kind; I don't know. For me, my feather cloak isn't freedom, it's a leash that pulls me back. Or maybe it's an addiction, or a curse.

You're the best husband I've ever had. Take care of the childr

So, I can give up something I have, or something I don't have...well, bye-bye, mobile phone! I won't miss what I didn't have!

(This question tells me more about the person that wrote it than it tells somebody else about me.)

As I hit the enter key to on "livejournal.com," I noticed the banner ad had something about submitting nominations before...November 30, 2009.

I have no idea what they wanted nominations for, but somehow I don't think they're getting their money's worth on that ad.

It's not asking too much of a person, I think. Yes, he's a doctor. But I've sent him the .pdf files, he should have no problem printing them out and signing them, and it's $4,500 and change that he gets from this.

It's been a month.

I'm sending him paper with little "sign here" flags. Maybe this will work better.

I shouldn't have to work so hard to give somebody money that is rightly his.

The Road. Book by Cormac McCarthy. Now a major motion picture...

...no, not starring Bob Hope, Bing Crosby, and Dorothy Lamour!

But now I can't get the idea of a post-apocalyptic, comedic song-and-dance film out of my head.

Ah, madness. How will I ever know if I've gone there if ideas like this are relatively normal for me?

What if magic was a limited resource? Not a fossil fuel-style limited resource, but one measured in units of energy per second?

So, when there are a half-million intelligent beings on the planet, one person might be an impressive wizard. Five million, and you need a group of people to create a magical effect.

And once there are billions of people, the size of the group needed to do anything that is visibly magical is large enough that you're into "herding cats" territory.

No, I have no idea where I'd go with this. It just showed up in my head, with no idea for what comes next.

A net-acquaintance is looking at moving to Seattle to go to the University of Washington. Does anybody know where I could find recommendations for an apartment that will accept a renter with a cat?

I have a game I play with license plates. I treat the letters like an abbreviation, and expand it to get something memorable, generally leaning towards silly. Mice From Yelm. Big Fat Kangaroos.

I don't bother with something like SIX, but that's just too easy anyhow.

Today, I saw a license plate with the letters XSI. My first expansion was "X-Files Scene Investigation." I have no idea how somebody would cross-breed X-Files with CSI, but I'm sure it would be strange.

("What do you have on that hair?"
"It's not human. And the DNA check against the saliva from the coat shows a match. Forty-four chromosomes, matches file 123."
"A Sasquatch. In Arizona. How did it get here without drawing attention?"
"I've got somebody checking on the science-fiction convention from last week."
"Science-fiction convention?"
"The last time I saw a roaming Sasquatch, it was disguised as a wookie.")

I read an article by Ellen Goodman that made me wonder if happiness is something people measure as an absolute, or a percentage of possibility.

If my glass is completely filled with water, and my neighbor's pitcher is half full of water, who has more water? By percentage, I do, but if that pitcher is more than twice the size of my glass, my neighbor has more water in an absolute sense.

Feminism increased what was possible for women. Are women less happy now, not because things are worse, but because women in the past didn't realize they could fly instead of walking?

I love my work.

But when I get something for a budget that officially closed in March of this year, effectively closed in May of this year, and looks like it slipped past getting paid, I feel a need to grump.

In geological terms, this item isn't old at all. In financial terms, it's an ancient artifact. If I'm going to be dealing with ancient artifacts, I want some benefit. Vast Cosmic Power? A bit much, but I'll take it. The ability to visit good fortune on my friends with no other effects? Sounds nice. An army of indestructible flying monkeys to do my bidding? A bit over the top, but I'd go with it.

But an ancient artifact which promises nothing but annoyance...if I could just throw it in the shredder and ignore it, I would.

Grf.